Log in

No account? Create an account

previous | next


ConfrontThe three children stood side by side looking up at the shadowed bulk of the warehouse as it stretched into the sky. Years of neglect were readily apparent in the broken windows and peeling paintwork.

"Still going to stay the night?" Billy teased. He shivered as a cold wind buffeted their bodies, strong enough to make Billy step back to catch his balance, he drew his jacket closer and thrust his hands deep in his pockets for warmth.

Shelley snorted, she wasn't going to let something as silly as an urban legend scare her. Years of her grandfather guiding her through the morass that was the media had ensured that she had a good bullshit detector, she knew a tall tale when she heard one.

Jesse wasn't too keen on the whole deal; he'd argued loudly against it when Billy had originally broached the topic. Jesse's older brother swore he'd seen something in the warehouse when he'd stayed over on a halloween dare last year, he couldn't give details, but it was enough to scare the bluster out of his for a week. Jesse knew better than to try and talk Shelley out of something once she'd set her mind to it and kept his silence.

Shelley shouldered her pack and picked up the sleeping bag she'd borrowed from Jesse. "See you in the morning." She waved and walked down the broken concrete entryway without a backward glance, climbing through the broken window by the boarded up front door and disappearing into the darkened interior.

"You know we're never going to see her again." Jesse kicked a stone and skipped it across the road. He wasn't looking forward to telling her grandfather that Shelley had fallen victim to some horrible monster.

Billy punched his friend in the arm playfully. "I have dibs on her bike then." Jesse returned the punch, but Billy easily jumped aside, which led to a game of tip and chase all the way home.

15minuteficletsword #79: haunted
Part of the Abandoned!verse


( 3 howls — talk to the wolf )
11th Nov, 2004 03:26 (UTC)
I like the interaction among the friends, particularly Jesse and Billy's behavior after Shelly goes into the warehouse.

There's something wrong with this sentence: Jesse wasn't too keen on the whole deal, he'd argued loudly against it when Jesse had original broached the topic. Who broached the topic? Also, that's a run-on sentence and should have a semi-colon or period rather than a comma.
11th Nov, 2004 03:27 (UTC)
Oh, and that should be 'originally,' not 'original.' Your friendly neighborhood editor strikes again! :-)
11th Nov, 2004 04:14 (UTC)
Thanks. Fixed the bugs.

Wrote this on the train yesterday. Palm's aren't great word processors, but at least I finally got to use my transformer keyboard for its intended purpose. Still, really should have checked it over more thoroughly, I have a habit of missing the blindingly obvious.
( 3 howls — talk to the wolf )