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Bulwark

BulwarkWith her chin resting on her folded arms, Dawn leaned on her windowsill, looking down into the yard.

Spike leaned against the tree in the yard, barely visible through the leaves; Dawn could just make out his shape from the little ambient light. He'd been there for more than an hour and, aside from smoking, hadn't moved.

Dawn yawned against her hand, muffling what little sound she made, but Spike still heard it. He stepped out from under the tree and smiled up at her; a flash of white teeth competing with his hair, her protector in the night.

--

open_on_sundaychallenge #113: moving

Comments

( 14 howls — talk to the wolf )
jans_intentions
25th May, 2005 02:22 (UTC)
Very sweet.
redwolf
25th May, 2005 02:30 (UTC)
Thanks!
irishvampire13
25th May, 2005 02:30 (UTC)
It's always nice to have a bit of security like that. :)
redwolf
25th May, 2005 02:30 (UTC)
Isn't it just.
kseenaa
25th May, 2005 07:59 (UTC)
Oh, how cute!!! :-)
redwolf
25th May, 2005 10:20 (UTC)
Many thanks. It wasn't intended to be cute, but somehow that's where it ended up.
pheral
25th May, 2005 12:40 (UTC)
less cute and more beautiful and sullen i'd say. lovely atmosphere.
redwolf
25th May, 2005 22:39 (UTC)
Thanks! I seemed to have missed the cute that everyone is seeing in it, so nice to see I'm not the only one.
pheral
26th May, 2005 12:38 (UTC)
yes, i certainly saw more darkess in it than everyone else. the sort i love, too.
edenfalling
25th May, 2005 14:24 (UTC)
Awww. :-)
redwolf
25th May, 2005 22:39 (UTC)
Thank you!
myfeetshowit
6th Jul, 2005 04:02 (UTC)
Actually, I can see both the atmospheric and the sweet. I tend to look for symbolism and to me the fact that Spike fades into his background is a symbol that he is as dark as his surroundings. His stillness is forbidding. When he smiles at Dawn it is the light briefly peeking out from behind a cloud.

The last paragraph though. Yawn, smile and protector are cue words as it were and they will register strongly. The middle paragraph is more subtle so a lot of people react to the cue words and think sweet.

I just used this metaphor elsewhere but I think it is like those 3D pictures that were popular a few years back. You had to focus your eyes a certain way to see the 3d picture. If you focused correctly the 3D practically hit you in the face. If you didn't you missed it entirely. A lot of the fancier ones had two pictures - the surface and hidden.

I think that is what happened here. Some people are more attuned to one than the other. In retrospect you did something very clever.
redwolf
6th Jul, 2005 04:14 (UTC)
The dissection of literature has always fascinated me. I believe you see what you want to see and that may not have anything to do with the author's intentions. It's not right or wrong, just interesting and I'm always curious to discover what people read into my writing.

I go with the flow of whatever is floating about in my head at the time, constructing complex metaphors is purely accidental. It's just something that sounded right to me at the time.

It does make me want to have serious words with a particular English teacher over the merits of literary discussion.
myfeetshowit
6th Jul, 2005 05:13 (UTC)
I love the dissection as well--too much I think. I hesitate sometimes because some people think someone has to be proven right rather than being interested in an exchange of ideas and theories.

Sometimes, I do change my mind and sometimes I don't but I'm always interested in the way other people see things.

I get anal over symbolism I think. A lot of people use it without realizing it. They can see that an image or scene is powerful but not understand why. I always look for it and have a hard time not using it in my work. Of course, that can lead to stilted writing.

I do think that one of the aspects of art, whether writing or painting or anything else, is that the artist has the control while creating it, but loses it instantly as soon as someone interacts with it. If the art is good, the observer continues to build upon it.
( 14 howls — talk to the wolf )