"I'm going to kill our new bartender." Pam glared at the man.

"That won't be good for business. Try finding your happy place," Sookie suggested, trying to distract her. "I have a customer and all she thinks about is different ways to kill her boss."

"And this works?"

"She's not in jail and I've seen her boss. Horrible woman. I think it keeps her sane."

Pam tapped a nail against her teeth. "You could be right. He would look better wearing his intestines as a scarf."

Sookie kicked herself for not suggesting yoga. It was getting tough to find barstaff.


trueblood100 — challenge #25: crazy

Pam didn't miss her own body heat. She'd weathered enough winters as a human that she was more than appreciative of it no longer being an issue.

She found her ambient temperature made her environment a much more interesting place. It wasn't just the blood she drank, it was the body heat of every living thing around her. Not just living things, but mechanical things as well.

Humans forgot that. It gave you senses for hunting your prey that humans didn't consider. She carefully removed the recording device from underneath the table. It also made finding their widgets a breeze.


trueblood100 — challenge #24: warmth

"I keep meaning to ask, Pam. What's with your smile at the door tonight? You looked miles away." Sookie cocked her head in interest.

"It's a slow night. No bar fights, no hens nights, no frat boys. So I amused myself by contemplating the best way to kill each person as they arrived." Pam nodded towards a man sitting in a nearby booth. "Blue suit with a Bowie knife through the heart. His companion, smothered with a plastic bag." She shrugged. "It makes me feels warm and fuzzy."

Sookie shuddered. "Remind me not to ask you questions like that again."


trueblood100 — challenge #23: better

Pam sorted through her mail.

The death threats went to security to determine if they were a rant or something more serious.

She poked through the usual pile of fan mail. It had always amused Pam that the men who seemed barely capable of signing their own names, would send her missives detailing their fetishes.

Pam smiled in delight. She recognised the handwriting on the parcel, knowing it would contain a card that simply read: thinking of you. There was never a return address, but his taste in women’s clothing was impeccable. Why couldn’t all her fans be so delicious?


trueblood100 — challenge #22: return

It wasn't until Sookie hit a straight stretch of road on the way home that her mind started to wander back to the fight she'd had with Eric.

No voices had been raised, but she was sure every vampire in the bar heard their argument. Eric had been so maddenly calm with her that she'd eventually stormed out in a huff.

It wasn't until now that it occurred to her, that if Eric was truly angry with, he could easily tear her arms off. She wondered if this meant that he loved her or just found her an amusing distraction.


trueblood100 — challenge #21: tear

"I don't think Sookie will appreciate all the thought you've put into this." Eric leaned against his desk as he inspected Pam's birthday gift.

Pam pouted as she carefully adjusted a bow. "But look at the effort I put into the wrapping."

"It's very decorative, but she's still going to throw a tantrum, which in all likelihood will mean I miss out on sex. I think you're going to have to return this one and try again."

With a sigh Pam turned and ordered the strategically beribboned man to leave the office. "Do you think she would prefer a woman?"


trueblood100 — challenge #20: the road to hell

Having dinner offer itself to you, often naked, was nice, but there were times Pam missed the hunt. You never knew what could happen when it came to human fight or flight responses.

The braggart from the bar was just as likely to wet himself, as the cowering girl was to stab you with a nail file. That didn't stop either ending up as lunch, but Pam always felt it added a certain spice to her meal. Of course that could be the fear and adrenaline. She wondered if perhaps she should perform a blind taste test to find out.
Pam rose gracefully. "Not for much longer."


trueblood100 — challenge #19: instinct

Pam and Sookie sat in a booth observing the patrons of the bar.

"Brown shirt, silly red agricultural product hat. Sloth."

Sookie followed Pam's gaze. "Good call. I can't believe he managed to leave his house tonight." She smiled at Pam's delight in crossing another sin off the list. They'd agreed that lust and envy were too obvious and were working their way through deadly sins bingo with the remaining five.

"That leaves greed. Tight blue shirt, tragic 70s hair."

Sookie paled as she spotted the man. "That's bingo, but he's a drainer."

Pam rose gracefully. "Not for much longer."


trueblood100 — challenge #18: seven deadly sins

"Can you give me a heads up on what they've been up to before I put the fear of Faith into them?"

Andrew leaned back in his chair. "The girls were out celebrating Caitlin's birthday. The paparazzi were trolling nightclubs for drunken celebrities and they mistook Padmini for some Bollywood starlet and wouldn't take no for an answer."

"What happened?"

"A lot of broken camera equipment, some sore heads and one particularly obnoxious gentleman may not have yet landed."

"Nothing to lead the bastards back to us?" Andrew shook his head. "They have been paying attention in class. I'm impressed."


open_on_sunday — challenge #378: clash
open_on_sunday — challenge #379: still flying
open_on_sunday — challenge #380: grill
Part of the London!verse

"This isn't a typo is it?"

Dawn looked up to see Rachel frowning at the overnight reports.

"Spike really dealt with those four infestations and was back here before midnight?"

"Yeah. No bloodshed either." Dawn smiled at the memory of Spike's description the previous evening. "He struck a deal and convinced them all to move elsewhere."

"And they went without fuss? Something's missing there."

"Spike was a bit vague on the terms of the deal. I'm unsure if he's promised them a year's supply of kittens or he just bested them at poker, but it's undoubtedly something a bit shady."


open_on_sunday — challenge #375: deal
open_on_sunday — challenge #376: invasion
open_on_sunday — challenge #377: move
Part of the London!verse and the Wolf&Declán!verse

Pam ran her fingers over the purse longingly. The lambskin was decadently soft, but ridiculously fragile. It would never survive Fangtasia and the styling wasn't exactly right.

With a reluctant sigh she left the store and froze. Sniffing the air she smiled. Her stalker had returned. He had a predilection for rape and an inability to distinguish humans from vampires.

Pam recalled a contact who dealt in exotic hides. With an exciting new project in mind, she slipped into a dark alley and pondered whether it would be easier to ship a skin or an intact body to New York.


trueblood100 — challenge #17: run

Rachel looked up as Dawn arrived and grinned. "You live in the building and you're late for work?"

"Breakfast in bed."

"Was food actually on the menu?" Rachel shuffled her paperwork into order. "Hang on, I don't think I want the details."

Dawn sat down and fired up her computer. "Did you get the reports from last night?"

"As colourful as ever. The guard is a complete muppet with the IQ of a house plant, according to Spike. Andrew went through past footage and caught him using a loop tape."

"Great, we'll be starting from scratch on that case. Bastard!"


open_on_sunday — challenge #372: breakfast in bed
open_on_sunday — challenge #373: muppet
open_on_sunday — challenge #374: plant
Part of the London!verse and the Wolf&Declán!verse

With the rain keeping the demons at bay, Faith and Andrew had gone to ground for administrative reasons and left Xander to deal with the nightmare of bored Slayers.

"Check Viv next. What's with his name?"

Andrew didn't need to look that one up. "It's Vivian."

"He has a girl's name?"

"His family came from Antigua and are huge Viv Richards fans." Faith still looked blank. "He's a famous West Indian cricketer."

"Oh, the guys in white who play for days and break for tea. Strange game. Is that the weirdest name?"

Andrew shrugged. "Nothing's weirder than Buffy."

"Good point."


open_on_sunday — challenge #369: marathon
open_on_sunday — challenge #370: elbow
open_on_sunday — challenge #371: gossip
Part of the London!verse

Pam stalked into Eric's office, her eyes flashing.

Sookie started as the door slammed opened. "Pam?"

"Humans! They breathe. It's most inconvenient." Pam stood in all her dominatrix glory, arms folded across her corseted chest.

"Yes, humans breathe. You were human once, this shouldn't come as a shock" Sookie curled her legs beneath her on the couch. "What happened?"

"I gave one of the humans a ride to work and he kept fogging up the windows. It was extremely difficult to see."

Sookie giggled. "You gave a man a lift in that outfit and you're surprised about his heavy breathing?"


trueblood100 — challenge #16: breath

Pam looked over the edge of the building as Sookie coached her on her technique.

"It's basic physics, Pam. You're too early, you need to wait a little longer." Sookie pantomined distance and speed while Pam looked on in disbelief.

"You're lecturing me on physics?"

Sookie shrugged. "I read a lot and I have a lot of practice at doing this. Can we argue later, because here he comes now. Get ready and I'll signal you."

At Sookie's word Pam released and they watched Bobby Burnham swear as the water balloon scored a direct hit.

"It's all in the timing."


trueblood100 — challenge #15: time

Andrew and Faith leaned out the window watching in amusement as Xander hosed off the juniors in the alley below.

"Told you they wouldn't pay attention in the briefing."

Andrew was annoyed. He'd trimmed his notes back to point form. All they needed to know about Bhutn demons was that they were large, harmless and difficult to compel by force. Everyone left them alone because their skin had the consistency of mucous.

The Slayers had tried brute force, gotten slimed and Xander made them walk back to base.

"All they needed to do was bribe the Bhutn with candy. Idiots!"


open_on_sunday — challenge #366: fanfare
open_on_sunday — challenge #367: return
open_on_sunday — challenge #368: glee
Part of the London!verse

Pam was curious about what was causing Sookie to look so confused.

"The meeting went badly?"

Sookie shook her head. "No they're still in there. They sorted their business issues in a few minutes, then it shifted to watches. They started fondling each others watches and I left before it got any weirder. I recognised Rolex, but everything else sounded French or Italian. I thought the Swiss made the expensive watches, but nothing sounded Swiss. I don't get it, Pam."

Pam extended an immaculately clad foot. "Have you seen my new Casadeis?"

"They're so beautiful. Oh! Now I get it."


trueblood100 — challenge #15: time

Andrew stood on the platform at Aldwych tube station, watching as the Ghystal demons quietly filed through to cast their votes.

The Watcher Council had agreed to provide security at the abandoned station and he'd posted a couple of juniors at the entrance to keep demon traffic flowing freely. There were keep away spells to discourage any curious humans.

It was a surprisingly calamity free event. The demons were intent on their local elections and no one was interested on messing with anyone so formidable. Andrew's most frustrating task had been explaining the disparate Aldwych station signage to his Slayers.


open_on_sunday — challenge #363: elect
open_on_sunday — challenge #364: lost time
open_on_sunday — challenge #365: planting a seed
Part of the London!verse

Eric leaned back in his chair and stretched. Paperwork was not one of the more exciting elements of running a business, no matter how unavoidable it was.

Humans saw vampires as timeless, forever locked into a fixed path, but the opposite was true if you wished to live beyond a human lifespan.

While humans flitted from one fad to the next, vampires were more cautious in accepting new behaviours and technologies.

The key to a long and healthy existence as a vampire was learning how to move smoothly with the times. Well, that and being extremely handy with a sword.


trueblood100 — challenge #14: change

Dawn looked around the room while Spike made sure they were not disturbed.

She frowned as she attempted to decipher the archaic script that covered the walls of the sixth floor storage room belonging to the well respected legal firm. She was almost certain it was a declaration of independence, but the yellowish blood the message had been written in was making it difficult to read. It could be a betrothal poem.

"Does that warehouse in Camden still need demons guards?"

"Yeah. I'll let the lawyers know they've had vandals. Better that than a bunch of hormonal teenaged Strehj demons."


open_on_sunday — challenge #360: circle
open_on_sunday — challenge #361: manifesto
open_on_sunday — challenge #362: gold
Part of the London!verse